Thursday, May 18, 2006



B writes :

Robert, I guess I was the only one to read between the lines and frankly, I'm worried about you.

and yes, that's the reason, why i say, that truly intelligent people can't be cruel - simply because intelligence needs imagination (simulation of different scenarios) and is able to understand how dangerous life can be...

I have to disagree with you. For once I think you're very wrong. Some of the most intelligent people I know are also some of the cruelest and yes, they have great imaginations which makes their cruelty even more deadly.

if you try to imagine how pain feels, i can't believe that common people can do it unto others...

What????? I've been rendered speechless at this point.

As to the rest, I don't give a flying fuck what happens in the US, who was warned, who's listening, any of it. I feel sorry for those of you who have no choice but to live there. I'm staying as far away from politics as I can because they're bullshit and nothing read can be believed, regardless of the source. That's my mindset these days. I may piss some of you off, but tough titty, ya know? I've had it.

With that, I take my leave and not of my senses which are just fine, thank you.

I'm fine B. I know that the tone and themes of that post can be taken many ways. Frankly that was one of the emotionally difficult things I've ever written, and I get your concern. I'm just using my own pain to try and get into the heads of people who have no hope and whose pain is more than I can ever understand. Dear God, I hope so anyway.

We lost Human because he didn't like the anti-Christian, anti-religious tone and couldn't stomach the idea of violence. I still miss him.

B, your path is your own and frankly a part of me wishes I could walk away too. Arguing politics is often a fools game, and I can be the biggest fool of all. I like to pretend I might have a noble reason for writing what I do but there are really only two reasons. There's an old 80's song with the line "you live for the fight when it's all that you've got." In a lot of ways my tilting at windmills is all that I have. That and the second reason for what I do. My dear Marcus. The transformation I made from right-wing nationalist to whatever I am now was sparked by the pictures of gunned down Palestinian children. Now instead of just shooting them, the "Chosen People" with our help, are starving them as well. I've since studied Bosnia, Rwanda, and learned far more about Nazi atrocities than are healthy for my psyche. And those are to name a few.

And the weak and helpless are always the victims. Always the children.

Not my son. Not while I have breath.

Either America will crumble under the weight of her own violent self-righteousness, or the combined powers of new alliances will wage war far beyond what anyone has known before. But the status quo cannot be maintained.

Or there is the unprecedented third option.

I think about what would have happened if, as an eighteen-year-old, I had access to the Internet. What if some guy with a blog had pointed out, in a way that I could understand and care about, the truth of the world around me. The lies of patriotism and war. The oppression I was party to by not taking a stand. The true history of the American Republic.

What if?

Could one person, his or her eyes opened, or a handful of people from around the world, told the truth for the first time, make a difference? If my mind can change, any mind can change. And that is not just a hollow aphorism, it's true.

There are many voices on the right and left going silent on the net.

Soon it will only be the ones who just can't let it go. The dangerous true believers on both sides. Am I fooling myself, that one person's ideas can make that great an impact?

Lech Walesa. Rosa Parks. Nelson Mandella.

People of great action, whose deeds I can never aspire to. It seems my weapon is to be words.

Thomas Paine, the rebel for the cause. Sequoya, who translated the words of my ancestors. John Lennon who's Imagine still inspires hope. Martin Luther whose words shook heaven and earth.

Maybe the fight was all they had.

In my small living room hangs a poster of one of the greatest moments ever captured on film. The nameless, faceless hero of Tiananmen Square. I look at it every day.

One man.

One human being.

One light in the dark.

B, your wisdom and experience can never be replaced. A great part of me goes with you. We have laughed and mourned together and we have seen the world aflame. I will miss you.

Go in peace, my dear sister.


  • At 3:24 AM, Blogger Again said…

    b, Robert

    please excuse, if it is my fault, that b wants to leave...

    It seems my weapon is to be words.

    you forgot someone to mention:
    Leo Tolstoi's not really well known book "The Kingdom of God Is Within You" reached a young lawyer of indian ancestry in Transvaal, South Africa, who sent him a great letter, which was so appreciated by Tolstoi, that both started a lifelong correspondence - in that book Tolstoi claimed that even evil governments should be defeated by non-violence

    did you guess the name of the young lawyer in South Africa?

  • At 3:57 AM, Anonymous b said…

    I didn't expect to see my comment as a thread topic. I guess I should have explained what's going on, what's made me the way I was this morning.

    A close call health-wise. I thought I was having a heart attack or stroke. Being broke, I couldn't go to a private clinic and had no choice but to go to the 3rd world hellhole hospital here.

    It was horrid, truly horrid, bodies lying on gurneys everywhere, doctors running around shouting, no one wore gloves, no one washed their hands and i was gettng freaked out.

    The doctor I saw should be a wrestler because I've never been treated so roughly in my life. He yanked up my shirt, grabbed my arms hard and pulled them to my sides and after the EKG yanked the electrodes off with force. Then he took out a rough paper towel and scrubbed at my chest so hard it turned red. Oh and the paper covering the examing table had obviously been used many times by many people so I took it off.

    I was in horrible pain. I had my husband tell the non-English speaking Spaniard there were certain medications I couldn't take. I was shoved out of the room and parked against the wall as I waited to go into another room to get the pain taken care of. I was also supposed to get blood drawn and have an x-ray. The guy was picking his nose!!! Like I'd let him take my blood???? And when I asked what I was being given, I was told it was one of the things I clearly had stated I couldn't tolerate.

    I was so angry, ohh you have no idea the level of anger and had to sign out against medical advice. I grabbed the wrestler's pen, scrawled my name with fuck you in the middle and slammed it down and with that left.

    I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sick all the time and it's making me crazy, do any of you understand?? I just lost my mother and can't help but wonder if I'm not going to follow soon, so understand why I say politics don't matter right now. I'm trying to stay alive!!!!!

    I hope that clears things up.

  • At 6:00 AM, Blogger Again said…

    b, sorry to hear that - despite the fact, that i'm glad not having offended you

    now i understand that you can't believe in anything good in that race, sometimes it seems as if there is no empathy beyond that hollow faces...

    seems to me as if you feel as if your life has reached something like a true lo wpoint - there are more here, as far as i remember, so please stay here, b. Maybe you will never meet again so many people at one place - torn between hope to see something good in humankind and the daily life of observing the opposite

    gute Besserung - get well soon

    and try to be as less angered as possible. I know it's hard because of the lack of respect you feel beyound their behavior. But it's better for your immune system - and you'll need it now. And if it really is something like a heart attack, you need to be as calm as possible

    think of the German saying: "you always meet twice" - meaning that at that future time, you will not have forgotten and then you may be the stronger part

  • At 8:14 AM, Anonymous b said…


    Thank you. I try to stay calm, when that happened I did deep yoga breathing, remained very calm, though in great pain, but the lack of empathy, the rude and rough treatment triggered anger I loathe in myself. I should have known -- I've been through it before at the same place but have stayed away for a year, able to afford a private clinic, but at 60 euros a pop just to be seen, it's out of the question now. I will never return, no matter what. It's made me stronger, believe it or not.

    I believe we have an expiration date and there are times, I will admit, I wish mine were soon, but then I think of my family and husband and what it would do to them and I summon up the will to keep going and hope to live many more years.

    GS has a great group of people, in fact the best I've ever been involved with in my many, many years on the net. Robert is a source of hope and strength and I feel somewhat embarrassed I act like a child at times.

    You, again, are also an inspiration and your words, though I don't always agree, are also very helpful.

    Barnita makes me smile, her warmth comes through her posts and I've seen her face on a webcam and she radiates goodness.

    JMF always blows my mind with his insight and comments on things he's found.

    The rest I don't know very well, but i like them. The anon's crack me up because they don't have the guts to say who they are, so nothing they write means anything to me.

    I guess I needed this experience today to re-examine my life and attitude. I had a great dream today and dreams like that always make me feel better.

    I'm not going anywhere...I'll be back tomorrow.

  • At 1:12 AM, Blogger Again said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 2:37 AM, Blogger Again said…

    (sorry, i had to delete my post because of too many mistakes in English ;-) )

    I will admit, I wish mine were soon, but then I think of my family and husband

    and your friends - please don't think so. One of the things, information teaches you is that each and every human soul really is unique, perfectly unique in all universes of all times (<preaching>the only exception would be a copy of the whole lifetime of the whole universe, which i can't guess to be possible because of the infinity of the quantum vacuum</preaching>) - do you know what i want to say?

    I guess I needed this experience today to re-examine my life and attitude. I had a great dream today and dreams like that always make me feel better.
    I'm not going anywhere...I'll be back tomorrow.

    glad, to hear that

    btw: i would like to hear you, when you don't agree, <supermodest>sometimes, honestly hardly ever, i might err</supermodest>

    If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong. - Morris K. Udall (American Congressman, 1922-1998)

  • At 8:45 AM, Blogger Robert said…

    I agree with our resident quantum shaman, Again.

    You are our friend. Time and space separate our bodies but our minds and hearts come together here. Your voice means more than you know.

    Our health impacts every aspect of ourselves. When our body hurts, our spirit hurts. I wish I could be there to put my arms around you, B. You don't know how much I wish it.

    A mark of true friendship is to be able to disagree and even argue bitterly and then sit down and have a pint and laugh about it. You say whatever the hell you want to B. Your friends are here.

  • At 5:50 PM, Anonymous JMF said…

    "If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong." - Morris K. Udall ... ==== Again: One good adage deserves another. And Mark Twain too expressed this wisely cynical attititude towards the prevailing "Conventional Wisdom" : "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." [Notebook, 1904] ==== I have to admit, I also find little to inversely correlate "intelligence" with cruelty, unless you employ the term in an atypically "specialized" manner. Seems to me that a "CQ" [Cruelty Quotient] would either be largely unrelated to, or even to an extent *directly* proportional to, IQ as a generalized population trend. Having experienced a few "talented", hostile divorce lawyers in my time, I can attest to the latter possibility directly. ;-)

  • At 6:08 PM, Blogger Robert said…

    Having experienced a few "talented", hostile divorce lawyers in my time, I can attest to the latter possibility directly. ;-)


    (Robert suffers a severe flashback, shrieks and falls out of his chair. His colleagues find him huddled in a corner mumbling, "The horror....the horror")


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